2011 is ending

I feel kinda sad, but at the same time really excited. At the beginning of the year I managed to maintain a nice life with not all that much in it. Then summer hit. Then I went to high school.

So yeah, eventful.

I think I grew a lot, but I'm still debating wether it was for the better or not. 

I went to summer camp and I managed to get a lot of cliche teenager experiences out of the way, and I think I figure out to manage myself much more than I did before I went. Even though I did have a hard time with a certain stupid boy there. Again, cliche teenage experiences.

Now, well. High School. I'm pretty sure you can guess how that is going. 

Either way, I think I'll miss some of the memories but all in all. I just want it over with.

BRING ON 2012~ DOOMSDAY ISN'T A BIG DEAL ANYWAYS!

COME AT ME 2012,

Zeeta

I'm writing, I'm writing!

Geez, am I so interesting you need to check in on me all the time? I'm flattered, but I've got finals to study for. I can't be jumping out the window for you guys at your earliest whim. ;)
Anyways, I promised you an update.... so I suppose I can give it to you now.
There's this guy. Well, obviously, but anyways- before this I had kind of had an inkling that maybe I might like him.
At the time though, this 'liking' was more of a 'I feel completely comfortable with you, and I don't think that generally happens with the opposite specie-I mean gender!' So, I had been toying with the idea for a bit, to see how I felt about it.
Well.... I'm quite positive I like him, now. >.> I mean, we were just goofing off like normal, being silly. I was making fun of him, he was 'offended'. So we were just doing our bantering when a friend of mine comes and sits next to us.
We include her, of course. She comments on how we act like we're dating. That was the beginning, I did a mental stutter and just stared at her. He, like the articulate man that he is, stuttered,"Wha- W- No! We don't!"
I shook that off, though, because it occasionally happens with all my friends. Even the girls. I'm not bisexual, people! I'm so sorry to disappoint you! Anyways, so we were hanging out again, and he was acting like an idiot.
I have this thing, when people act like idiots I pat them on the shoulder and politely tell them to shut up. So, he was making a fool out of himself, and then he adds on the killer,'I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY TOUCH!'
I was like,'Wh-whaaaaaat?!' then I actually comprehended what he said and started laughing like a small child who had just watched her dog go sledding into a large body of water. It was funny, I mean, I was laughing like an idiot. Then I had this weird self-conscious moment and got really serious and my face just went,'Wait. This. What. I... Uhm... Stop looking at me...' Which is code for, I blushed like a tomato.
So, by that point I was starting to think,"Ok... Somethings up...'
He, of course, remained oblivious to this change in mental state and started playing with a sharpie. Then he grinned and reached for my hand. I, quite understandably under the circumstances, blushed like mad and jerked my hand back.
"Don't worry. I'm just going to draw a smiley face. I won't write anything stupid on it." He assured me, utterly unaware of the crap going on inside my brain. I blushed a bit but allowed him to draw the smiley on my hand.
It's still there >.>
Anyways, so then we actually had to learn things for a bit. So I stole his sharpie and doodled all over my hand. It was a really cool design so he asked me to do it on his hand. I blinked at him for a moment, then shrugged.
But I had to actually touch his hand to do this, which sent my brain into spasms of,'OMG! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!' Which caused laughing on my part.
"What are you laughing about?" He asked, curious as I continued to draw on his hand and started on the wrist. And then of course I couldn't tell him, so I had to come up with some crap excuse about how his hand's anatomy was screwy. Which he obstinately denied, and asked me how.
Since I draw and anatomy is a big deal for me, I made up some horrible explanation to which he looked at me and said,'My hand is completely normal.'
Which was true. And also partly the reason for my laughter.
Anyways, then he found an absolute way to make me feel awkward. I was grappling for normalcy, and was making myself look like an idiot in the process, so he tried to do a sympathy pat. Only it failed and ended up as a sort of rub-shoulder type thing.
Which really freaked me out and sent me into spastic attempts to remove his hand. Which he thought was hilarious, so he kept on doing it.

It was an eventful hour.

I'm kind of exhausted now. Writing this was confusing.

This is my brain. I really wasn't built for this.....

Night,
Zeeta

It's A Service. ;)

This blog is. Completely and totally. It's a service to better the mood of the intehweb peoples! According to my Gifted teacher at least.
Because we talk about these things in gifted. It's like preschool. I'm not even joking! This is our schedule-

• Come in and eat animal crackers
• Talk/eat animal crackers
• Go to lunch
• Come back and have a lesson (A.K.A. We talk and undermine Mr. O's authority.)
• Listen to music.
• Playtime!!!!!!
• Go to G4 block.

Sounds like pre-K to me! Anyways, we were talking about being nice and doing community service to op out of finals when Mr. O smirks and looks very pleased with himself.
"Crap. I just gave him an opening...." I grumbled, falling with a exaggerated sigh onto my desk. I looked like a heap of flesh and laziness.
"I wanted to talk about service!" Mr. O exclaims and does a jig while handing out papers. He had us flip through them. They were a list of 'services' you could do, with cliche things like 'smile'. Then I saw 'Have A Blog.' I did a double take, or maybe a triple take.
"WOAH! I have a blog!" I said, excited and surprised.
"Is it a service? Do you make people happy?" Mr. O asks.
"Uhm. Maybe?"
"Of course you do! I'm sure your blog is very interesting!"
"Of course it is......"
<insert Mr. O's laugh here>
So, my question for you guys is- Is this a service? I don't know. Do I make you guys happy? Am I interesting? Am I an attention-seeking crap teenager who needs to shut up so you can all move on with your lives?
Tell me! I'd love to hear from you guys! I haven't had a comment yet!

I would tell you about a small development in the 'romance' area, but to be totally honest... I like to leave cliffhangers! I'll tell you tomorrow. I swear! ;)

I drew this! :D

Tchou My Dahlinks!,
Zeeta

The Human Brain Confuzzles Me

You guys like reading parental angst? Because, I just re-read that blog and half of it is,'OMG! What is going on in my parents brain?' genuine confusion and the other half is,'$%^$&*^%$&^&^ I HATE CHU GUTS!' anger.
However, I saw my stats today (Hey there, Malaysia! Comment me, new country!) and my views were way up in the double digits! Generally I get like two views a day, but I had about 15 views today!
Then I  felt like crap because half of my brain was,'Woah. Maybe I should be wangsty more often on here.' and the other half was,'Dear LORD. People actually READ that?' So I'm an attention-seeking introvert, apparently. Don't ask me to explain that, because I've got no idea either.
Anywho, so my parental wangst is popular. Big deal, Zeeta, grow up. You aren't reading this so I can be in shock. More than likely you are reading this because I have some level of pathetic humour in my writing.
Well, here's your humour for the day. It was generally an all-around awkward situation, for me too.
Ok, first, my background. There's this guy. OH MY GOD! I JUST TYPED THOSE WORDS! WHAT IS THIS?! I AM BECOMING A LEGITIMATE GIRL! (how's that for humour ;D) Anyways, he used to pick on me when I was little, and it annoyed me (duh). So, to this day, I still harbor some level of annoyance towards him. However, recently he joined a band that is actually pretty popular in our town. So he, by default, became popular along with it. It doesn't hurt matters any that he isn't exactly bad looking. Anyways! Enough about that crap.
Oh, and the guy's name (is obvious to my parents WHO STILL READ THIS.) is Ian.
Me, Mom, Tay, and Tay's friend (Sarah), went to their concert at our church. We felt awkward because hardly anybody showed up, but we had fun. Afterwards, Mom had to go talk to Ian's mom. Who is nice. I like her. So Mom starts talking about a new program the school is setting up (of which I am the guinea pig). Which switches the conversation to me which was annoying, then to Ian which was embarrassing. So they're talking about Ian's grades and degree of smartness and I'm standing there awkwardly thinking,"Geez! I should not be hearing this. Damn, what if he can hear them? WHAT IF HE CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS?!" Which was paranoia (A La His being a mind reader which is such a big possibility. Duh) and worry all rolled into one thought. So I turn around to find him.
AND DEAR LORD THE BOY IS HALFWAY ACROSS THE ROOM AND SOMEHOW MANAGES TO LOOK AT ME THE MOMENT I TURN! My brain went from paranoia to full on,'ACK! HE IS A MIND READER! I dislike you. Turn away. Your fans will kill me. I'm crazy.  AH! ignore that part! STOP READING MY MIND!.' It was one of the creepiest and most paranoid moments of my life.
It was all I could do to keep myself from running out the church doors screaming like a maniac.

HE READ MY MIND, I SWEAR!

Crazily Yours,
Zeeta

This Is A Warning For My Stalker Parents

Dear Stu & Mom,


Warning: I'm not going to spill deep dark secrets. I realize you like to keep tabs on me. I realize this is a  public blog but please- STOP READING IT! I get angry at you guys. I will vent here. In fact, I'm about to. So take this as a warning, if you think you might be offended by what I say- then please stop reading this right now. You have been warned.

Ok. So, how was my day today? Pretty bad, actually. It started out OK, Mom told me to drive to church. I went,'Sure, whatever. You've been really stressed lately. That's cool.' So I get in the car, I do a crappy stop then do pretty well. I get to church and it's REALLY CROWDED IN THAT PARKING LOT.
Let's get this straight- I suck at parking. Honestly, people know this. MY MOTHER KNOWS THIS. Well, apparently we both figured I could pull it off- so I pulled in. I did a horrible job, so Mom tells me to pull out and try again. In the process of this I manage to hit our rearview mirror against the car next to us.
I stop, and Mom makes me stop driving (understandably). I feel horrible, and Mom tells me it happens to everyone.
So, I start to feel better. I go to church, then we go to take Christmas pictures. All is good, we're messing around when I find this weird drag down thing on my phone. I'm confused so when Stu comes I go up to ask him about it. He explains it to me and I thank him, then turn to go back in line.
"Is that all you have to say to me?"He asks. At this point, the whole car thing was at the back of my mind, mainly because next to no damage was done. I dented the other car a bit, but the guy who owned it had a high schooler so he understood. I broke the plastic on our rearview mirror, but no so much that it was impossible to use. So I kind of look at him and say,"Yes?" Then he turns sort of calm and stares at me,"You wrecked my car and that's all you have to say?"
I kind of laughed, because it's Stu. He's never serious. So I grin and say,"I whacked the suburban, but I can always go wreck your truck." Then I go back to get in line. He started getting really pissed at that point and calls me back and starts at me. Generally, if he'd talked normally I would have apologized for joking and for the car. Yet, instead he starts yelling. So I did apologize for the car, and then he just yells some more that I'm 'not sincere'.
I don't do well when people start yelling at me. So, I start getting mad to. Then he lays claim to everything in the house. Which just pissed me off, because I think that there are two ways families work. Everything is shared, or ownership is clear. Ours has always seemed to be the second, in all aspects. So the fact that he starts claiming everything just sent me flying. So I got even madder. Especially since I ALREADY APOLOGIZED.
I ask him what he wants me to do her and his answer is, and I quote,'I want you to act like you give a damn.' In my head I was thinking,'Fuck! I already apologized!' but of course, I can't cuss out loud at him so I just say,'I can pay for the plastic, if you want.' Then suddenly it's 'money doesn't solve everything.'
I think he just wanted to yell, to be honest.
So we stopped the conversation and we took the Christmas pictures. Then, in the true Christmas spirit, we head to get a christmas tree from Home Depot. So, while Mom and Stu are busy venting about me and my issues, I watch the children. That means making sure a 5 year-old, 9 year-old, and 10-year old, are all SAFE AND UNDER CONTROL. So I had to chase after the 9 year-old and track down the 10 year-old all while holding a crying heavy child who wanted 'Momma'.
Suffice it to say, I was getting pretty dang annoyed by the time Mom came back. She starts talking to me and, of course, the first sentence out of her mouth is <insert drumroll>,"You should apologize to your father." Of course, I was expecting the whole 'apologize' thing. Really, though, they should know by now that I do not think of Stu as my father. I, quite frankly, don't want and don't think I need a father and I'm perfectly happy having Stu in my life as,'My Mother's Husband'.
So that sets me off, but by this point I am so done having that conversation with them because this is what it get me- OBVIOUSLY he is your father, Zeeta. He does all the fatherly things and you think of him as a father, too. You just don't know it because- Oh, this part right here? It's my favorite. -you're just a teenager.
*claps* *bows* That line will forever haunt me, I believe. You're just a teenager. Really? I may be between the ages of 13 and 19 but I still have a brain and common sense. I know how I think. I know what my emotions are. I know my relations with people. I'm not five, I can handle myself, thank you.
So, now I'm in this tug-of-war where I almost feel like the mature one.
Which is sad. It's just sad that I'm acting more mature than them. Honestly, I can't apologize every time my parents are inconsiderate and don't think about what they are saying. OF COURSE I'LL GET MAD IF YOU START GETTING PISSED AT ME FOR APOLOGIZING! OF COURSE I'LL GET MAD IF YOU INSIST SOMEONE IS MY FATHER! IT'S COMPLETELY OBVIOUS!
Is it just me? Am I the only one who understands this? I mean, damn it! Can't they just think these things through for once!
Ugh. I'm done ranting now. I'm going to listen to Pink.

This is me. Beware.

I'm Not Exactly Cheerful,
Zeeta