Immabee up in this grill! Being a stereotypical girl!

Yeah. I got into my first fight with Sage EVER today. Because, you all know I'm scared easily by romance, but it doesn't even PHASE him. So he was all ' I gotta go. 'Night. Love you!' And I, like the loser I am say," Night, Sage :)' and he goes off and is all,' Oh THAT's fair.' I think he was kind of joking, but it bugged me because I TRY to be sweet but I'm just not good at it. So I'm like, it is actually. because it's the only way I won't botch it up. BEING TOTALLY SERIOUS. I was telling him what I had barely managed to tell my best friend, that I COULD NOT, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, say 'I love you'. And he completely blows it off. 'You can't put it off forever' he says. I FUCKING KNOW THAT! MAYBE I CAN'T JUST KISS YOU CASUALLY?! BECAUSE IT'S MY FIRST KISS!!! MAYBE I CAN'T SAY I LOVE YOU!? I'VE NEVER SAID IT BEFORE! And the worst part is, is that one of my favorite things about him was that I thought he understood this. Knew I wouldn't just do this stupidly and casually. But, apparentally I was wrong. SO I TELL HIM THIS. I say,'I know that! But today is nor forever, and tomorrow isn't, and know I'm seriously questioning when it will be! SO go to be and be quiet before I get even more angry! GOODNGHT.' Because I'm angry. And I want him to apologize so I can forgive him and tell him that I'm sorry the moment I send it, even though I did mean it. Because I do love him. And I don't WANT to fight with him.... but instead of a sorry or even a 'I pushed that too far' I get 'K'. Which promptly makes me want to burst into tears because this time, the ONE time I NEEDED him to say something sweet, he didn't. When I'm joking around and being stupid with him, he's Mr. Romantically Sweet all the time. The only time I really need him to just say something like he fucking cares at all what I think beyond 'I love you' he doesn't. And I'm sad. Really sad. Because I REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM. And I'm not super sure right now if he likes me all that much, even though he says he does. Because of that stupid letter, which he knows I don't like even when we're just joking around. And I'm not sure if writing this helped or not, but I refuse to cry OVER A BOY. It's not happening. So now I'm going to bed. I love you all, Zeeta P.S. I'm at my Grandma's on my iPad, so no picture or font size changes.